8 Minus Jon & Kate

Much has been made recently of the marital problems of Jon & Kate Gosselin, famous parents of 8-year-old twins and 5-year-old sextuplets. In tonight's episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8, the couple announced the tragic news that they are separating. I've never followed this show closely, but because of its popularity (especially among evangelical Christians), I feel a pastoral need to speak about it. Before you argue that it's none of our business, be reminded that it was their choice to make their lives public... particularly this sad part of their lives, which I believe God, in His providence, has given us as an example/warning. So let's learn a few things to help us make Christ supreme in our own marriages.

I watched part of the show tonight, and the thing I kept hearing was "it's all for the kids," "we want what's best for the kids," "this is the kids' house, not ours," "I'll do anything for the kids to have peace." Marriages fail when couples put their children before each other. Granted, it must be extremely difficult to raise sextuplets and twins, but it is never impossible to obey God. Christians, learn from this that the most important relationship in your home is not parent-child; it's husband-wife. The best thing you can do for your children is love your spouse!

Another sad reality with this couple is that their relationship, even in the good times, was never obedient to the biblical roles for husband and wife (Eph. 5:22-30). Kate is not a submissive wife. Jon is not a leader. Please understand I'm not throwing stones. If I invited (key word) a TV crew into my house, I'm sure it would reveal my lack of leadership. But it doesn't seem like the Gosselins were even trying to obey God's Word in this area. When those male/female roles are reversed, Satan wins and disaster strikes. Christians, learn from this that God's good design is for men to be the servant-leaders of their homes and women to be helpmates to their husbands.

For Christians, divorce just isn't an option. It cannot be on the table. Yes, God allows two scenarios for divorce (it seems): Adultery (Matt. 19:9) and desertion of an unbelieving spouse (1 Co. 7:15). Yet even in those situations, forgiveness trumps adultery, and, in the case of desertion, it's the unbelieving spouse calling for the divorce, not the believing spouse! Christians, learn that divorce isn't an option for us. Take that choice off the table! No way can that happen! You're in this for life... for better or for worse, remember? You vowed to God that you would work it out no matter what. Keep your word.

The situation for Jon and Kate is awful. That they're putting it on TV for all to see is shameful and defaming the name of Christ. Even still, let it serve as a warning/example for us. Pray for the Gosselin's marriage. Pray for your marriage. Pray for each others' marriages. And as you do, remember that marriage is given, ultimately, to point us to Christ's passionate pursuit of His bride...

... and He never gives up.